What will you do with this one wild and precious life?

Life asked me this during one of Dr Joe Dispenza’s meditations.

I will lean into everything and feel every texture, every emotion, every piece of nature. I won’t leave a rock unturned until I understand what is there to discover, what is there to feel. I want to pull the world along with me and show them that there is so much more to life than the numbness we are being pulled into. I don’t want to move through life with my head down, missing what is around me. I want to believe in magic. I want to trust that God put me here on earth to experience more than just paycheck to paycheck.

I am feeling whole. I feel completely alive. My entire being wants to lean into the magic of life. I want to live a life rich in experiences. I want to spend days swimming in lakes, feeling the sun on my skin, tasting the sweetness of melons, the bitterness of coffee. I want to sit speaking in broken Italian to interesting winemakers and cowboys, smiling all the way down to my heart. I want to share an Aperol spritz with a stranger at lunch, then enjoy dinner alone at sunset, savouring every flavour of the grilled polpo. I want to swerve my car off a highway and dance in a field of sunflowers because my heart couldn’t imagine driving past.

I want to know what it feels like to swim in Greek waters, eat dolmades at sunset, feel the wind on my face, and the sand between my toes. I want to dance underneath a purple sail, my feet bouncing on the trampoline, knowing I am free to play. I want to know what the peaks of the mountains feel like in Albania and understand the darting nature of the yellow butterflies in Pelion. I want my life to be filled with stories of dog fights that turn into friendship with the dog’s owner and long breakfasts discussing the woes of the heart.

I want to fight hard for the matters of my heart, so that my love is always communicated and there is no room for misunderstanding. I want my words to be heard, even if they make no difference to others. I never want the people in my life to second-guess the worth they hold in mine. I have felt that, and I would never wish it on another.

As I move into a stage of my life where I am falling deeply in love with who I am, I want these experiences to multiply. I want to sit around big lunch tables and hear the stories of those eating my food. I want to listen to my sister sing and be the loudest cheerleader in the crowd. I want to play with my nephew and roll around in the dirt on the floor. I want to ride a scooter down the Italian coast and stop for a gelato just because I can. I want to run up a mountain and sit crying on the pew of a church, calling to God to show me the way. I want to see the light beaming through the forest trees and bathe myself in the glow. I want my smile to stretch across my face. I want my tears to fall freely.

I want the love I hold to make space for all my other emotions — to feel them enter my body and witness them, knowing they are allowed and loved. I want to engage so openly with my emotions that I never judge or mishandle the emotions of another. My God, I want to sit with grief and anger and allow them the space they need to move on. I want to release the anxiety that another’s withdrawal can cause me and remember that I always have the power to choose how I respond.

I want to understand to my core that I am powerful beyond measure. I want to know that the more I can sit in stillness with myself, the more power I have to move through this world with grace and love.